Finding Old Letters..

To my crazy girl,

I see you, just as you are. I love how much you live in the flow, how deeply you feel everything and how you follow your heart. I wish I could do more of that. How you just totally surrender to your heart, and regardless of the consequences, follow it fearlessly. I am not there yet. I want to be practical, I take calculated risks. I evaluate the consequences. And most of the times, I live in fear. Fear of losing what I have. But you have crossed those seas long ago.

You chose this path with me. You fell in love with me. You gave it your all. You gave everything you had to this relationship. I acknowledge you for that. For loving me more than anyone has ever loved. For showing me how to open my heart and be vulnerable. For being there for me through thick and thin. For understanding me like no one ever has. I find peace and solace in you, even if I never say it. I find home in you even if I will never acknowledge it.

I love to watch you being present, to your feelings and to your emotions. You don’t numb them out, you don’t run away from them like I do. You are so honest in your communication and expression. You couldn’t lie to save your life. You express your emotions and occasionally swear and I may cringe a bit about it but I love the fact that you choose to be yourself. There are times we park in the driveway and you feel like sitting there for a few more minutes till your favourite song finishes, times when we park and you say you want to go on a drive, times when you feel like going for a walk out of the blue, times where you feel like going for a run at midnight, times when you want to eat something particular and you won’t stop till you get it, times where you play a particular song on repeat for hours, times when you feel like crawling up on me and just lying there for long… there are so many crazy things you do and come up with at the spur of the moment.

I admire you when you decide to do something and put in your whole to make it happen. I am occasionally surprised at your will power and inner strength. I love how with all these years you have found more of yourself and continue to explore to find greater depths within you. I have seen you grow from being a quiet meek girl seeking everyones approval to being a strong confident girl who has found her voice and stands up for what she believes in. I look forward to watching you grow and being with you on this journey.

You are beautiful and when I say that, I mean inside out. You probably don’t realise how gorgeous you are in the way you care and love, in the way you listen and understand, in the way you feel and empathise. You have an intuition that rarely fails you and the way you sense how I feel about anything is beyond my comprehension. I love your dark deep eyes and how they light up for me. I love looking into them and realising just how much it is that you love me.

You love to touch and be touched, you love having showers together, you love to shave my facial hair, you love to flirt, you love everything romantic, you love to love and baby all that about you is what keeps me here, keeps me yours. You touch my soul in ways it has never been touched before.

So whatever I do and whatever I say, understand, that it ultimately means I love you and that I would never want to let you go. You are precious and I am lucky to be loved by you.

Your Dude!!

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