I Forgive You

To the neighbourhood boy who sexually abused me as a kid – I forgive you
To all the men who have inappropriately touched me – I forgive you
To the neighbours who shut down your doors on us – I forgive you
To the boys who never let me play with them coz I was a girl – I forgive you
To the man who did not respect my moms space – I forgive you
To the woman who dragged my mom by her hair in an attempt to beat her up – I forgive you
To the aunt who insulted mom and looked down upon us for years – I forgive you
To all the debtors who loaned money from dad and never returned it – I forgive you
To my ex sister-in-law who wanted my brother to choose between me and her – I forgive you
To my first ex-husband who was more interested in call girls and prostitutes – I forgive you
To my ex-boss who fired me – I forgive you
To my ex-manager whose sexist comments hurt me and I kept quiet – I forgive you
To the dentist, ENT specialist, nurse and MD doctor who treated my body as an object of your pleasure – I forgive you
To the colleagues who underestimated my skills – I forgive you
To the colleague who didn’t want to share a room with me because I was getting divorced and hence a bad influence – I forgive you
To all the men who I loved and could never love me back – I forgive you
To the woman who is jealous that someone loves me more than he loves her – I forgive you
To the man who cannot stand the fact that I am no longer a people pleaser and screamed at me in front of my friends, ‘Cut the fucking attitude’. – I forgive you
To the woman who can’t stop gossiping about me because I don’t fit in her box of normal – I forgive you
To the woman who called me a bitch because her husband fell in love with me – I forgive you
To the woman who thinks I am a witch and carry dark energy around me and tells people to keep away from me – I forgive you
To the woman who can’t wait to see me fall – I forgive you
To the women who only know the language of sarcasm when it comes to me – I forgive you
To the men who I expected to stand up for me when I was disrespected and they didn’t – I forgive you
To the woman who pretends to be a friend and passes confidential information to others – I forgive you
To the best friend from college who had said I look ugly when I smile without knowing that it would cause me to be very conscious and to hide my smile for years – I forgive you
To the relatives who treated us bad because we were poor – I forgive you
To the landlords who took advantage of me as a single woman and never returned my deposit – I forgive you
To the flat owner who did not keep his word and my parents had to live on a construction site for days – I forgive you
To my sister-in-law who will never forgive me because I am walking away from her brother – I forgive you
To my brother-in-law, FIL and MIL who never accepted me as part of the family – I forgive you
To all those who don’t understand that being true to my journey and my heart is more important than anything else, even if it comes at a cost – I forgive you

To me, who was the first person to receive scholarship for studying International Trade in Russia and chose her college boyfriend over the scholarship – I forgive you
To me, who fell in love with a family friend and was shamed for it at the age of 14 – I forgive you
To me, who was never able to go back to being in a great relationship with my mom – I forgive you
To me, who manipulated a few records to win an award which I didn’t – I forgive you
To me, who has always been a rebel and caused pain to her parents – I forgive you
To me, who was never present for her brother and always busy in her life – I forgive you
To me, who couldn’t do anything about her parents’ financial situation – I forgive you
To me, who always moved on in relationships without looking back, as if I never cared, as if I lack compassion, as if I am heartless, which isn’t true – I forgive you
To me, who walked away from a perfect marriage that everyone idolised – I forgive you
To me, who blames herself for destroying several families even though that’s not true – I forgive you
To me, who questions herself and her decisions because life is not exactly in the comfort zone right now – I forgive you
To me, who fears that my life has no future and sometimes operates from those fears these days – I forgive you
To me, who thinks I will never be loved again – I forgive you
To me, who thinks her ability to feel deeply and connect fully with people is her weakness – I forgive you
To me, who sometimes regrets loving unconditionally – I forgive you
To me, who has changed and doesn’t please people anymore and is considered a bitch and questions if all this change is right – I forgive you
To me, who always felt she was not beautiful and was ashamed of her body – I forgive you
To me, who finally is on her journey to freedom and independence but is insecure and scared sometimes – I forgive you
To me, who does not fit in any standards of society and sometimes considers herself abnormal – I forgive you
To me, who wanted to explore her sexuality and kissed a girl and sometimes thinks it was wrong – I forgive you
To me, who wants to box herself up in definitions like being a pansexual – I forgive you
To me, who regrets a lot of things that I had no control over – I forgive you
To me, who can’t forgive the girl who I was in my past – I forgive you
To me, who can’t totally accept who she has become – I forgive you